Staying consistent with identity-based habits
How do you start a new habit--and stick with it?
It’s challenging to start a new habit or to stop one that no longer serves you. But how do you create resilient habits? What do you do when life gets in the way or motivation is low?
The first thing to consider when starting a new habit or changing a behavior is whether or not it aligns with your values. That’s a topic for its own post, but for now, the main thing to remember is that it’s hard to keep a habit that doesn’t truly matter to you.
What do I mean by that? Here’s an example: let’s say you’ve always wanted to be someone who meditates every morning for 10 minutes, but you’ve never been able to do so. Why do you want to add this to your morning routine? Why does it matter to you? If you don’t have a clear answer to this question, it’s possible that it doesn’t matter more than the extra ten minutes of sleep or coffee-drinking time you’re currently getting. However, maybe it does, but you’re still not completely clear on why.
James Clear, author of the best-selling book Atomic Habits, says that behaviors are easier to change when they’re “identity-based habits.” Instead of basing a habit or goal around an outcome (e.g., feeling calmer after meditating), it’s easier to change a behavior when it’s based on the kind of person you’d like to be (e.g., someone who can sit alone with their thoughts, even when they don’t want to).
Let’s go back to our meditation example. You ask yourself what it means to be someone who meditates for 10 minutes every morning. What does this say about the kind of person you are? You realize you want to be someone who is less reactive and can put more space between your thoughts and actions, especially with someone like your boss who pushes your buttons in your late-morning meetings. Instead of focusing on the outcome, you focus on the kind of person you’d like to be.
Now, let’s see how this change in perspective can make a difference when life gets in the way. What happens when you can’t fall asleep the night before and are up later than usual? You woke up late and really don’t feel like sitting with yourself this morning. This would be a convenient and understandable reason to skip this new behavior and give yourself a pass. However, it’s also a day where you might really be able to put this new skill to use. This is where you have the option to reinforce the new habit you’ve been building. But how?
By practicing “habit tracking.”
Let’s keep going with this example. You’re too tired to care about any of this and just want to go back to bed. As you’re pouring your coffee, you notice your habit-tracking sheet on the fridge and see that you’ve gone 25 days without missing. You realize that while 10 minutes might be too long (and you might fall back asleep), you’ll start with 3 minutes today. Something is better than nothing. If you feel better after 3 minutes, you’ll do 5. Who knows, maybe you’ll end up doing 10 minutes anyway. But you know you can at least start with three because you don’t want to break your streak. And just like that, you’ve kept up with your new habit and made it even stronger.
While using a piece of paper (like the downloadable printout below) is always an option, there are also plenty of apps you can try. However, seeing your progress clearly laid out in front of you is often a more powerful visual than having to pull it up yourself on your phone, especially when you’re not looking for a reason to keep going. Whichever option you choose, remember to start small and try not to miss twice.
What new behaviors are you trying to incorporate into your life?
What do you find gets in the way of staying consistent?
What have you tried adding to your life that you’ve been able to keep up with?
Feel free to comment or respond below!
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